You Beauty!
A digital parade of ugly-cute animals to cure your long-weekend blues.
My recurring sober stoner thought of late is that society is fiction. All the customs, traditions and structures that we live our lives by were made up. It stands to reason, then, that they can be changed.
So, like, can’t we hurry up and make every weekend a long weekend like these countries?
Until that happens all I can hope to offer Australians pretending to work today is something fun to look at on their work screens.
This week’s newsletter is inspired by another fabricated phenomenon - the standard of beauty. Not the human, but the animal.
I’m not making it up - Certain animals with mass appeal are described as Charismatic Megafauna. They’re the Leo DiCaprio and Natalie Portmans of the animal kingdom. Easy on the eyes with great personalities: the perfect faces of conservation.
Pandas and Koalas are adorable. But this newsletter is about spreading the love. They may be slimy, hairless and weird, but they are beautiful and words can’t bring them down.
The format of this newsletter will be a bit different. Less explain-ey, more look-ey, like a digital parade. Because Laylady is still in long weekend mode too.
More love for conventional cute critters…
It’s not a penis with teeth, it’s an underground rodent that hardly gets cancer, barely needs oxygen and has an enviable mortality rate that means it will probably outlive us all.
This Chinese Giant Salamander is 53 kg and over 1.4 meters and is the world’s largest amphibian. The critically endangered animal was found when a fisherman accidentally stepped on it. Poor sweet thing.
The poor Blobfish was named the World’s Ugliest Animal and is the mascot for the Ugly Animal Conservation Society. In an article announcing the win, one commenter said “[They’re] so ugly and it’s disturbing to see.” Harsh.
The snot-like portrait above was taken of the Blobfish outside of its natural environment. Where its skin and features have been distorted. It’s also dead.
Below is a picture of a Blobfish in all its actual glory. Slaying it in the high pressure of the deep sea.
I have deep sympathy for the non-photogenic Aye-Aye. Most of the pictures on google aren’t flattering and focus on their spindly fingers and wide-set eyes. But it really is cute and nifty too! Those long fingers are used to hammer and scrape into the wood of trees to find dinner.
K. Let’s be considerate about this one as the Star-Nosed Mole is one of the most sensitive creatures in the animal kingdom. That’s true in a sensory aspect anyway. Its face is dominated by a 22-tentacle snout packed with 100,000 nerve endings that help it ‘see’ its environment. It’s also the world’s fastest eater, can smell underwater and has a way cuter profile:
This is a borderline entry. Even though the sunfish looks like a giant frisbee with fins, its big eyes make it really cute. It’s the world’s largest bony fish and can get up to 11 feet long.
The South American Bald Uakari isn’t blushing or sunburned: he’s red and ready! Scientists think that redness in the face (which is caused by blood flow in the skin rather than a melanin response) is used to signal health to potential mates. This article explains how blushing in mammals can signify healthy sexual hormones or healthy blood flow that isn’t hindered by infection. Healthy is sexy folks.
THEME SONG: Underneath It All - No Doubt
A sweet, mellow tune that celebrates seeing the good ‘underneath it all’. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then I’d like to start to observe attributes that are beyond the superficial. Not just aesthetically, but also generally trying to understand things more deeply.
Choosing what is worthy of attention, curiosity and praise is one of the ways we can send an ‘up yours’ to the controllers. I think that’s true for how we see our own beauty, other people and the natural world around us. There’s beauty everywhere, we just have to look.
Til next time beauties!
Alegria x